The Cool Kid on the Block

A dear friend and I were 'solving the world's problems' this morning at work.  I began recounting a story about my youngest child and my friend said, "He's the cool kid on the block."  The more I thought about her statement, the more I began to see exactly what she meant.  Sure, my youngest child is an active, outgoing, never-met-a-stranger type of individual.  But key in on the last word of my previous sentence: INDIVIDUAL.  My child is the epitome of what we all should strive to be in this world - an individual.

My youngest child is warm, funny, quirky, yet seems not to have a care in the world.  Truth be told though, that child is always listening (even when I think he isn't) and taking it all in.  Then, at just the right moment (for him, not always for the rest of us), he asks the 'burning questions' that have been on his mind when you least thought he was paying attention.  If you really listen to those questions and don't brush them off as the ramblings of a free-spirited kid, you'll see a sense of wonder, thoughtfulness, and tenderness you might have missed.

While I may not always have the right amount of patience for such an active soul, I appreciate that sweet child more and more each day.  He's got a good heart, he's friendly, he's kind, and he is his own person.  That, my friends, makes him pretty darn special in my book.  Because if we all spent a little more time being our own true selves and quit worrying about everyone else, we'd all be The Cool Kids on the Block, too.

Perspective

For the month of November, I’ve been recounting daily what I’m thankful for as my FB status. I wasn’t having much trouble the first 13 days.  Yesterday, however, I was finding it hard to come up with something to post. I was in a bad, no-good, got-the-mean-reds kind of mood. I was tired, feeling taken advantage of for my efforts, and in general, just not ‘me’. My whining consisted of: “I feed and care for everyone else. When is someone going to feed and care for me for a change?” Wow. What a bitch!


Suffice it to say, I needed to go to my room and pronto! Waking this morning, I found a new perspective to yesterday’s ‘mean reds’. There’s no need to feel burned at both ends being the Mom Taxi. How many years before my job becomes obsolete once the kids learn to drive? Yeah, six short years. That’ll go by in a flash! Why feel emotionally drained because there’s laundry to do, dishes to wash, and dinner to make? Isn’t it good that the kids and I have clothes to wear and food to put on those dishes that caused the dishes to need washing? What about the ‘feeding and care’ commentary? Isn’t it a good thing that I am naturally a nurturing individual?! My kids get what they need, and my friends do as well. Shouldn’t the fact that I’m a source of fulfillment for others be a blessing to me?!

So, my November 15th Thankfulness is: PERSPECTIVE. I want the perspective to see the good in all that I have to do each day. I want to have the perspective to enjoy the tasks I take on because they are for the greater good. And I want the perspective to see that the ‘mean reds’ are no way to feel as I live my life.  I am blessed beyond measure. By giving into those ‘mean reds’, I’m just bringing myself and others around me that have to listen to my whining down.

I am happy. I am blessed. I am thankful.

The Patience of Papaw

I’d stuck my head in the sand long enough. A week ago, I’d received bad news. I let it ride for a few days. As time marched on, however, I began to pull my head out of the sand and realized I could trust others only so far, and soon, I had to take care of me. Because Taking Care of Me = taking care of little people, furry people, and all the responsibilities that come with those people.


Just as my friend was trying to pry me from the ceiling concerning this issue, good news came. Things were back on track. Relief washed over me in waves that sent me straight to my father to tell him the good news. His response? “Some things just require a little “TIME”.” To which I responded, “Which is difficult for those of us who lack “PATIENCE”.”

The story he then related melted my heart. Seems my youngest child is part-time philosopher. As my father picked him up from school one day, my youngest said he needed to go back inside to throw away a piece of trash. With the patience of a true grandparent, my father waited for the offending article to be trashed. When my child came back out, he said, “Papaw, you have so much patience. Mom and Pop are always telling me to hurry up because we’re going to be late.”

A parent’s responsibilities never end: soccer practice, homework, art classes, church group, tutoring, basketball practice, baseball games, laundry, dishes, dinner, trips to the grocery store, feed/care of the pets, taking out the trash, recycling, working full-time, bedtime routines, and anything else that falls under ‘adult responsibilities’. For now though, it’s not my children’s responsibility to know what all I do during my day. I just want them to realize they are loved.

I can only hope they truly ‘see’ why I’m so harried and rushed when they grow up and have children of their own. And as they take care of all those responsibilities (because they love their children so much), I can finally have "the patience of Papaw”.

A Letter to My Boys

Dear Pride and Joy,

While I'm not sure at what point you may come across this letter, I hope I've conveyed the contents over the years.  I also hope to have provided a good example for you to follow.  You mean the world to me, and I want you to have the same foundation I was privileged enough to have thanks to Mimi and Papaw's guidance.

1. Always say, "Thank you", "Please", and "Ma'am/Sir".  Manners convey a solid sense of 'home training', and if used well, you will be thought of as someone who is well-bred, well-behaved, and a good person to be around.
2. Learn how to set a table, use your napkin, and learn it until it's second-nature.  You will always feel comfortable at meals with family, friends, co-workers, and upper management.  You never know who you'll be seated next to...you don't want to have to worry about the table manners while you're trying to figure out what to say next to those around you if you're nervous.
3. Look people in the eye when you speak.  Nothing screams confidence more than a person that isn't afraid to make eye-contact.
4. Have a firm, solid handshake.  A handshake used to be someone's word.  It's important.
5. While we're at it, keep your word!  Your word is all you've got; demonstrate your strong character by keeping your word.
6. Know the dress code.  While I understand that comfy clothes feel best, sometimes we've all got to dress up.  Know when to wear that suit and when those shorts are appropriate.
7. Hold the door...for everyone.  It demonstrates you value others and shows how much of a Southern gentleman you've become.
8. Walk on the outside of the girl.  That means, walk next to the curb so she won't get splashed if a car hits a puddle too close to you.  This also lends a sense of chivalry in that you're protecting her from whatever may come your way.
9. The best gift I was given for high school graduation was a copy of "Emily Post's Etiquette".  This book covers everything from everyday to work to social etiquette.  It has gotten me out of many a scrape; it can help you, too!
10. Always write thank you notes.  Nothing says you appreciate someone like a well-written thank you note.
11. Have a sense of humor.  Taking life too seriously will leave you wrapped around the axle, and that's no way to live life.
12. As your Papaw always says, "never discuss religion, politics, or which cereal is the best" in a group setting.  That only leads to trouble.
13. Love deeply, live passionately, and pass it on.
14. Tell the truth - always.  There are no excuses acceptable for someone who lies.
15. Live within your means.  Yes, there are plenty of things out there that are bright and shiny, but they are the 'here and now'.  Live for the 'forever'; those are not things - they are people.

I hope I've instilled the above in you before you read this letter.  However, if this letter serves as a gentle reminder, then that's just as well, too.  Please know that I love you - all the way to the moon and back.

Love always,

Mom

The Silver Platter

Isn't it funny?  Life doesn't always bring us what exactly what we want, exactly how we want it, or when we want it.  Life does have a way though of bringing us what we need, when we need it, and in the best possible way we need it.  Seeing this  just takes a little perspective.

Think about it.  How many times has it seemed that the sky was falling, only to discover the solution lay at the intersection of Perspective and Understanding?  It’s not a matter of getting everything served to us on that gleaming, silver platter.  It’s about taking those side dishes life offers, mixing them with a little bit of Faith, and adding a dash of Hope to come to a solution that was better than what we thought we needed off that silver platter in the first place.

The option doesn't have to be 'There is No Solution’ if we'll only see the possibilities of things from a different perspective.  Then, the solution comes to us in forms we may have never realized could occur.  That’s when we’re truly blessed!  Blessed with the things we were intended to have, but couldn’t see past our own selfish desires to create.

Serve it up!  Enjoy it!  Think about everything in a whole new light…the results will be spectacular!

Nothing Very Bad Could Happen to You There...

In the movie, "Breakfast at Tiffany's," Audrey Hepburn's character, Holly Golightly, says that Tiffany's, "Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there."  Sounds like my kind of place!  But, my 'Tiffany's' isn't a store...it's the simple act of laying my head on my Mother's shoulder that does the trick for me.

A couple of Sundays ago, as I was listening to the sermon in church, I quietly laid my head on my Mother's shoulder.  The feeling of peace that washed over me was overwhelming!  I felt like a little girl again.  All I wanted was to curl up in her lap in the blue rocking chair in the living room and just 'be' for a bit.  Nothing bad can happen to you in your Mother's lap, you know.

When I reluctantly raised my head from my Mother's shoulder, I thought about all the times my boys have asked me to 'come sit down and watch this show' or 'hug me, Mom!'  It's at those times that I truly hope I'm providing that same sense of refuge from the everyday world for them, just as (even at the age of 'almost 40') my Mother still provides for me.  Because Holly Golightly made a good point about Tiffany's: "If I could find a real-life place that'd make me feel like Tiffany's, then - then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name!"

Our Glorious Little Creatures

"Parenting boys is a reminder that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when we realize...they've been using our chapstick on the cat's butt."

What a great commentary on life raising boys!  I found this gem from an email joke being sent around and completely identified with it as life with my boys is never a dull moment!  But, that's the point, isn't it?  A constant reminder of what a blessing that's been loaned to us - for such a short time, it seems.  Yes, I said 'loaned'.  Because if you think about it, we are blessed with these creatures.  God has asked us to be good stewards of his greatest creation - a child.

That's what I try to remember on the days when I'm 'deprogramming' my boys from loud, mouthy, smelly creatures into the sweet guys I know are hiding in there somewhere.  The days when I feel as if I'm just the referee in sibling rivalry that rivals something akin to the Civil War (except there's nothing civil when these two get into it with each other).  The days when I yell out of the bathroom (as I'm cleaning up for the umpteenth time), "Watch it, guys!  Let's make it IN the bowl next time, OK?!"

I relish the mornings when they run upstairs to hug me before school and tell me, "I love you, Mom!  Have a FUN-tastic day at work!"  I savor the evenings when they cuddle up next to me as we read chapters out of their books before bedtime.  And I laugh as I think about their funny antics that keep me laughing.  Because sooner than I'd like, these two are going to be grown and my memories of little boys will be just that - sweet memories.

Look at your kids, really look at them; hug your kids and hold on tight; and above all else, tell your children that you love them multiple times a day.  They're never too old to hear those three precious words, nor are they ever too grown up for hugs and kisses!  One day, they'll no longer be like the little boy in the email I quoted above.  They'll be grown men with jobs, a family, and hopefully memories of what a great time they had with their Mom; all so they can experience their own children mooning the dog, hitting homeruns at the ballpark, or more importantly, providing the love to their children that we all thrive on so our 'loans' are made good in life.